Valentine’s Day is just ahead. If you don’t already have that someone special in your life, that means you’re probably still using dating sites and apps to find them. But if you’re frustrated or disappointed with the online dating games, why not try something different? Relationship pro Judith Joshel shares five dating tips for finding the person of your dreams. Read on!
If you really want to meet your Mr. Right, your best chance to connect with him is to be open to the possibility of meeting him during every waking hour of your life. Keep your Man Radar on as you go about your life each day. Just say no to looking at your phone or laptop when you’re out in public. There are good single men everywhere, but if your eyes are on your screen, you may not even notice the cute guy in line behind you at Starbucks. And no matter how attracted he is to you, he won’t try to strike up a conversation because you are occupied and he won’t want to interrupt you.
Shift your usual mindset from being preoccupied with lists, thoughts and worries to a state of Radically Open Curiosity. When you’re in a state of Radically Open Curiosity, you will be fully in the moment, noticing everyone and everything around you with curiosity and openness. It’s fun and it’s also amazing what you’ll start to notice. Add to that an attitude of warm friendliness toward those around you and you’ll find yourself becoming more magnetic to people and more interested in them as well. Some of these people, from time to time, will be quality single guys you may want to date. Some may be women who know a great guy for you and would be happy to introduce you.
Create strategies for how you’d like to meet quality single guys. Consider broad strategies like going to places where lots of men gather such as sports bars for Monday Night Football and car shows. Consider participating in activities that attract many guys like golf and working out at the gym. Narrow strategies focus on places and activities where men with specific interests can be found.
For example, a guy who’s an animal lover may be a volunteer training dogs for the blind or rescuing injured wildlife. To meet guys with these interests, you’ll want to check out venues where they may be volunteering. Open environments like festivals, wedding receptions, waiting rooms and lines provide natural opportunities to talk to those around you. When you’re in an open environment, remind yourself to be aware of attractive guys nearby and be willing to smile and say hi.
Before online dating came on the scene, networking with friends, relatives and others you know was a common and powerful way to get introduced to great guys. And here’s a little secret – it still is! You can do strategic networking by making a list of everyone you can think of from your present and your past who may know a great guy for you, and gradually contacting those who are fans of yours to ask for an introduction if they know anyone who may be a good match for you. “Where Are the Good Guys” gives you a blueprint on how to have these conversations in a way that will feel comfortable to you.
Do you have to feel instant chemistry to be interested in dating a guy? You may have a specific picture of how your Mr. Right will be – his appearance, his personality, his education, his career, etc. – and you may be dead wrong. Here’s a surprising fact: many women in very happy marriages were not at first attracted to the guy they ended up marrying. They thought he was a good guy and took a little time to get to know him. As they got to know him, they gradually began to feel chemistry toward him.
This happens much more often than you might think. So don’t reject a good guy who treats you well and is very taken with you just because you don’t feel instant chemistry. That chemistry may or may not develop over time, but if you reject him instantly, you’ll never know and you may have rejected a guy who would have been just right for you.
This guest post was authored by Judith Joshel
Judith is an inspirational coach for women committed to finding, WOWING and keeping Mr. Right. She is the host of the Mr. Right Cafe, an online expert interview series designed to help women find and keep the love of their life. Judith is a former divorce attorney and mediator who became weary of dealing with failed relationships. She wanted to help women recover from heartbreak and create loving and healthy relationships and she became a Certified Professional Life Coach.
Judith helps women sort through all those Mr. Wrongs and find, WOW and keep Mr. Right. She married her Mr. Right after many years of “not right” relationships. Her heart’s desire is to help women who have been wounded in love finally find lasting love.
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