Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context. 

You might notice we have fewer overheards than normal. We’re taking that as a sign that folks are staying home and socially distant — good job! But as a result, we are now taking submissions for eavesdropping on video conferencing calls and all of the other newfangled ways we’re staying in touch.

Overheard of the Week:

A middle-aged man heard on the jetway boarding a DCA flight:

“Hi, yes. I’d like to remove my ex-wife from the insurance policy for my house.”

Eyeballs emoji

Overheard while outdoor dining:

Street art seller to guy who just walked out of corner store: “I love those boots man!”
*Guy, excited, lifts up jeans to reveal tan cowboy boots.*
Street art seller: “Were those in the Capitol on January 6?!”
Boot guy: “Come on man!”

SMH

A young white woman waiting in line for a walk-in vaccine at a recreation center East of the River:

“You know, for a lot of people in this line, this is their first time in this part of town. I’d never been to this neighborhood before, that’s why I wanted to get my vaccine here.”

Fair enough!

In line for the vaccine at a Giant in Silver Spring:

Woman 1: “Are you waiting for the vaccine?”
Woman 2: “Lady, I’m 75! I got the golden ticket. Now the rest of you need to get it.”

Same

Two bros, one masked and one not, are walking down the street in Alexandria:

Bro 1: “Homeownership is overrated.” (Pause.) “But if you gave me a house, I’d own one.”
2nd bro nods in agreement.

December 23, 2020: To be so confidently wrong

At the Lincoln Memorial, two guys (probably in their 30s) are chatting:

Guy: “Well what’s embassy row?”
Other guy: “I don’t know man, but you know why it’s called District of Columbia? It’s not actually a part of the United States. D.C. is its own country.”
Guy: “Ohhhh.”

March 19, 2020: What’s it like in his brain?

A guy and gal are talking near U and 14th Streets NW, by Wydown Coffee:

Girl: “Did you see outdoor gatherings are up to 50 people now? This summer is gonna be lit!”
Guy: “It’s always lit here. Like an eternal flame.”

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