The Lord Can Direct My Husband’s Heart Wherever He Chooses
Yikes! It has been a while since I last sat down to blog. My last post, published in early January of 2019, stated that I was turning my focus on being a helper to my husband. And as life carried on, my time to write faded, which explains why I’m just now updating the blog. Thank you for your patience and understanding.
Today is our anniversary, and this year we are celebrating 15 years of marriage!
And while I’m very excited to be celebrating this milestone, this year has given us a lot to process as we have loved each other through a lot in just these past twelve months. Some of it was exciting: new ministry opportunities (which have been fantastic and time consuming all at the same time), getting into a groove with homeschooling, and of course, the biggest news of all… we are expecting our sixth baby in early March! However, this year has also held its challenges.
The first and foremost is Jason’s work schedule. His hospital is in a bit of a staffing crisis and has been so since September. With no end in sight, his work schedule is grueling and demanding. It is nearly impossible to depend on him for any help simply because he is either working or recovering from working a rough stretch. This fall has been a grey and dreary one, and I blame the lack of sunshine for my constant grumpiness. For the last six weeks, we’ve also been battling virus after virus with the children (and I don’t always handle germs well). My iron count is meager, leaving me having to see a hematologist for IV infusions, and two weeks ago, I fell down our basement stairs and broke my big toe/the top of my foot.
As I write this, I’m feeling exhausted and like I’ve aged significantly over this past year. Ha!
But isn’t that the beauty of marriage?! Two people who are living and loving through the good and the challenging times. Looking in the mirror and being unable to deny the effects of time left on your faces, and yet still seeing the other as the most beautiful person.
But an incredible gift about marriage is it isn’t successful because of the excellent or romantic moments. When we said, “I do,” we are committing to a lifetime of loving, choosing, pursing, forgiving, and honoring one another. All the little moments of our lives together (the good and the bad, the births and the deaths, the painful & amazing), those moments (which made up our days that somehow now have turned into 15 years) make our marriage far more beautiful than our wedding day.
Our marriage is more beautiful than our wedding, and for that, I am forever grateful.
In honor of our anniversary, I usually recount the annual lessons we learned from each year. I want to do that again today, but to keep this blog post at a reasonable length, I’ll link back to our previous 14 lessons for those who are interested and post our 15th at the tail end of this update.
Our Fifteenth Marriage Lesson:
Over the past year, one lesson stands out above the rest. In early 2019, my husband was offered a leadership position in the administration of his job. We contemplated, discussed, and prayed over it, and for four months, he was planning on taking it. I had my reservations and red flags, but it seemed as though there was no changing Jason’s mind. Without realizing it, my heart was growing hard toward my husband. I remember meeting with my mentor on a Wednesday night in May, crying because I felt helpless. She encouraged me to trust God and reminded me of the leadership position the Lord has put Jason in as the spiritual leader of our home. Trusting Jason was ultimately trusting Christ. She then quoted Proverbs 21:1,
“A king’s heart is like channeled water in the Lord’s hand: He directs it wherever he chooses.”
She reminded me that God could change my husband’s heart as quickly as He can move the waters. I have to say I left that meeting a bit unsure of if the Lord could change Jason’s heart as easily as he can direct the waters. My husband is one who takes his time in processing decisions, and I wasn’t sure if he would ever allow the Lord to change his heart instantly. Fast forward two days, and my husband is looking over some paperwork for his new position. As he is reading all the fine print, he suddenly looks up and says, “I’m not going to accept this position.” There was an instantaneous change in my husband’s heart. At that moment, I couldn’t help but hear the Lord whisper, “See, I can direct his heart at will.”
My faith increased at that very moment.
Jason’s job wasn’t the only area where we didn’t see eye-to-eye. At that same time, we were wrestling with the idea of adoption, and while I was ready to sign papers and begin the process, Jason was having reservations that he couldn’t explain. When the Lord changed his heart about the job situation, I realized He could change Jason’s heart about adoption if that were His will for our family. I was able to breathe for the first time in many months as the Lord showed me His power to direct the king of our family’s heart.
What I learned that day was again confirmed about a month and a half later when we found out we were pregnant. Jason’s heart was not inclined to adopt when mine was because the Lord knew He was going to expand our family another way. Instead of vilifying my husband, and assuming I’m the one who knows what is right, this year, I have learned in a new way the importance of allowing the Lord to direct my husband’s heart and submit to his leadership. I can show my trust in the Lord by trusting my husband.
Lesson Learned: The Lord can direct my husband’s heart (and mine too) wherever He chooses.
Thank you again for being patient during my sabbatical from this blog. I’m praying that in 2020 I will be able to get back into a rhythm of writing again. Until then, please know I’m praying for you and so very thankful for this community!
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