further thoughts on women's work
My mention of my 'big dick energy' refers to how I deal with problem solving, leadership, doing business. It's not always useful -- and it's not something I'm particularly proud of. For years I've worked on developing the more feminine side of my persona which makes me feel better about myself and in relationships with others.
Recently I was in a car dealership with Eric trying to sell a car. He said - you do the talking - and then said I was unnecessarily dick swinging. It was a moment that crystalized the trouble for women right now.We are rewarded for being aggressive and authoritative in business and leadership roles and simultaneously penalized for it. How do we move on from this paradigm? One way is to simply experiment with different patterns for living and working which is what I'm constantly talking about doing here at Worlds End.
It's no mystery that my excess of masculine energy (courage, sense of authority, etc) resulted in a lot of success for me and those of us that benefitted from Saipua 1.0 as we might call it.
In the last year and half I've given myself a lot of room and time to grieve the passing of the old ways and allowing for new patterns to emerge in my approach to working and living. This is exactly the importance of the feminine -- the waiting, the allowing, the gentleness. In some ways I'm still tough, still bold and brash at times.
My comments about children and caretaking were never intended to demean or discourage women who make the choice to stay at home. I think the fact the women do choose is the most important aspect in all of this. All of feminism is about having access to choice and not having to explain our choices AT ALL.
I bear a lot of my personal feelings and thoughts here with the hope of having these conversations. You might imagine I live for your comments, and I also welcome criticism. As women we need to be able to talk about these things without getting nasty. I absolutely refuse to participate in conversations that include passive aggressiveness or snide comments about how I choose to live.
Ask me questions about why I say certain things or choose to live a certain way, but do not make assumptions or mock my sheep. And if you want to be critical, please show me respect by telling me who you are. Hiding anonymously behind your anger is a disservice to the power of your own voice.
Here are some links to reading we can talk about next:
These thoughts on the work of feminist Andrea Dworkin.
Here's one and here's another look at the senator Amy Klocuchar's methods of leadership.