Real Jewish Bride: Sarah on Postponing for the Third Time

Sarah will be marrying Rich on 19th June 2022 at Tikitano Beach, Marbella, Spain. Click here to read all Sarah’s planning posts to date.

THREE FACTS: (1) Sarah knew Rich was the one when he brought a gift of dog treats for her toy poodle Nuala along to their fourth date! (2) They are crafting an amazing destination wedding weekend in Marbella with beloved Smashing The Glass Recommended vendor optimum weddings as their planner. (3) Sarah is a member of  Smashing The Glass’s Brides Club!

In my last blog I mentioned how we had decided to get a backup date in place for 2022 and how we hoped it was just a “formality”. Well, the good news is that it was a sensible idea, the less exciting news is that it was less of a formality and more of a necessity! In January of this year we made the difficult decision to postpone our wedding one last time.

Needless to say, neither Richard or I can predict the future, but we felt that it was the safer option for many reasons. We have waited so long for our dream wedding, so in reality, one more year is not the end of the world to us.

Why We Postponed Again

In January, we decided to assess the realistic prospect of our wedding happening this coming June in the way which we have always imagined and also with as many of our family and friends there as possible. The vaccine rollout was picking up speed in the UK by this point, but in Europe it was going a lot slower and hadn’t even started in many European countries. The ideal of everyone being vaccinated by the end of June was looking increasingly unlikely.

The reason why we want everyone to be vaccinated before our wedding is simply down to safety as much as it is practicality. If Richard or I were invited to a wedding this June in another country and we hadn’t been vaccinated then honestly, we would most likely not go. We have been so careful since March 2020 and have been in a bubble with my mum and so going to a party and dancing with guests who haven’t been vaccinated and have children at school just seemed like a risk which we would not want to take. So, on that note we thought about our guests and as a lot of them are older, we knew that they would feel the same way.  With safety in mind for all of our guests, we knew that we had to postpone if we wanted to have our original 170 guest wedding.

Why We Made the Decision in January

We could have waited to see how the situation developed before postponing, but we knew that 2022 was already a really busy year for weddings as it has both the new weddings from the engagements at the end of last year, the upcoming engagements which will likely be 2022 bookings and also the postponements from 2020 and quite possibly 2021. We were incredibly fortunate that nearly all of our providers offered us an alternative date for 2021 and agreed to hold it for us, but we also didn’t want to push our luck and risk losing them if there was a sudden influx of couples and demand.

We spent the first few months of 2020 living in an awful state of unrest due to not knowing if our wedding would go ahead or not and honestly, it was a feeling which neither of us wanted to go through again. Pulling the plug on our June 2021 wedding and confirming it for June 2022 simply gave us a sense of hope and certainty as well as removing a lot of the unease and pressure.

Postponing Was the Right Decision for Us

Making the decision to postpone rather than downscale or cancel is a truly personal decision and it will be different for every couple. For Richard and I, we took the pragmatic approach of looking at it from the perspective that we are together in a happy relationship, we live together and whilst the wedding is a big event and step, it will not change our relationship. I have just started my job with optimum weddings and I want to throw myself into that before I even start to think about having a family and Richard is also happy to wait. So, without the need to have children as soon as possible, the need to get married as quickly as possible seemed a lot less relevant to us.

This pandemic has brought so much disappointment and heartache to everyone. People have lost loved ones, they’ve lost their jobs, their homes and mental health is at an all-time low. We really want our wedding to be happy and we want it to bring a smile to people’s faces and allow them to remember what it is like to hug their friends and family and dance with them. Postponing gives us and our guests the chance to enjoy what we never thought we would lose and more importantly it means that we are not letting Covid-19 take yet another thing away.

The Decision to Postpone is Yours and Yours Alone

I want to say that just because we decided to postpone, I am not suggesting that everyone does the same. For some people they want to get married and start a family and so they should go ahead and have their wedding this year. The intimate garden weddings of 2020 were truly beautiful and brimming with emotion and they are a very real possibility for brides who want to get married in Summer 2021.

I would be lying if I said that both Richard and I hadn’t encountered the comments such as “why are you putting your lives on hold?” and “why don’t you just get married this year in a registry office?” Why, is because it was not what we wanted to do, and it is as simple as that. Everyone has an opinion and most people are all too willing to share it, but the truth is that the decision to postpone is down to you and your partner and nobody else. You need to be able to look back in years to come and know that you made the right decision for you because having regrets is soul destroying.

For us, we chose to not have our civil ceremony this year as we want to have the civil right before the religious ceremony. It is part of the wedding build up for us and we were worried that people might feel less inclined to come to our wedding in Spain if we had already been married for a year. That said, there is no right or wrong thing to do.

Your friends and family love you and they should and will support you either way, even if they don’t necessarily agree with you. The theoretical rule book for wedding etiquette and how and when one should get married was pretty much discarded twelve months ago. These are unprecedented times and whatever is right for you and your partner is the right decision and it is that simple.

Looking Forward to Happier Times

Our dream Marbella wedding is now on the 19th June 2022 and we can’t wait. It has been a long time coming and it is still a while off, but at least we are now at the 489 days to go mark (not that we are counting of course!). This whole wedding planning journey has been so different to anything that I ever expected, but through it I have found my strengths and worked on my weaknesses and I have learned to appreciate what we have and look forward to what will be.

It would be easier to accept defeat or to look at the negatives such as having to postpone three times, but Richard and I have chosen to look at the positives because we all need some positivity right now. We love each other and our relationship will be even stronger by the time we say “I do” because amongst other things, we will have weathered a pretty lousy pandemic and come out of it loving each other even more and appreciating each other just that little bit more.

My message to all couples who are unsure as to what to do, is to take a moment to think about what is right for you and your partner. If you want to postpone then I suggest looking into it sooner rather than later, and if you want to go ahead with a smaller reimagined garden wedding then do it! All I would say is, don’t let this pandemic take away your special day. Whatever that day looks like to you, it is your day and nothing can change that because you have options.

Life is short so do what makes you happy and think about the good times to come, because they will and so will your wedding day.

See you at my next blog x

Click here to read all Sarah’s planning posts to date.

Sarah and Rich’s Wedding Vendors booked so far:

Venue – Tikitano Beach
Welcome Party Venue
– Besaya Beach
Photographer – Nani De Perez
Videographer – Antonio De Perez
Wedding Planner – optimum weddings {offers 10% discount to all members of Smashing The Glass’s Brides Club}
Dress – Mirror Mirror London {offers £200 discount for veil and accessory purchases over £400 to all members of Smashing The Glass’s Brides Club}
Videographer – Antonio De Perez
Stationery – Simcha Invitations
Chuppah singer – JJ Hodari
Band – One Entertainment
Hair – Alex Harrocks
Makeup –
 Ella Megan
Welcome Party – at Besaya Beach
Toastmaster – Jamie Paskin
Post Aufruf Lunch Caterer – Karen Harris
Photo Shoot and London Civil Ceremony Photographer – Paul Toeman
Civil Ceremony Venue – The Old Marylebone Town Hall

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The post Real Jewish Bride: Sarah on Postponing for the Third Time appeared first on Smashing the Glass | Jewish Wedding Blog.

Real Jewish Bride: Sarah on Postponing for the Third Time