Real Jewish Brides: Charlotte on planning in lockdown
THREE FACTS: (1) Adam proposed to Charlotte on holiday in Cyprus (2) Charlotte and Adam met at work in London (3) Charlotte is a member of STG Brides Club!
Just before my last blog was written and posted we were plunged in to lockdown and the world as we knew it became a very different place. When I wrote my first blog I was so excited for the wedding, excited that we would be able to celebrate our marriage, that we would no longer be separated from our families but now, 3 months later, the excitement is somewhat distant.
Thinking back to a few months to the beginning of February we had our engagement party. Adam and I were not particularly bothered one way or the other if we had an engagement party but my parents thought it would a nice idea, and looking back, we are so glad we did! We had the most amazing night and created some unforgettable memories with our friends and family.
With the looming thought that we might not be able to celebrate our marriage in a similar style we are so happy that we took the opportunity to celebrate our engagement so we have memories we can treasure and to keep us going through this strange and emotionally unsettling time. It really has taught us not to take things for granted and to cherish to moments we have with our family and friends.
Adam and I are fortunate that our wedding is planned for April 2021 so we have not had to postpone. The wedding planning is still taking place but the processes we are taking are not what we expected.
It’s okay to be sad
When planning a wedding you always expect to have waves of emotions and for there to be ups and downs. I always hoped the year leading up to the wedding would be special and we’d have all these appointments to attend and planning meetings with the venue but it’s not and it’s sad and it’s okay to be sad, it’s okay mourn the weddings that have been postponed or cancelled and the wedding planning that’s not as we’d imagined.
We think about our weddings for a long time and picture what it’ll be like and it’s not easy to just switch it off and be alright with a new plan.
It feels trivial to sit and write about and update you all on my wedding plans when there are so many more important things going on in the world and I was feeling guilty about continuing to plan but, after having attend the ‘Virtual Bridal Retreat’ by Smashing the Glass I feel more comfortable in knowing that it’s okay to be aware of what’s happening in the world and doing our part to support it and still focusing on our impending marriage and what that day looks like whether it’s in a social distancing world or another.
There is a strange combination of feelings and learning to manage those feelings through breathing exercises, yoga and simply talking it out with friends has made it easier to look forward to the wedding.
Part of the thought process on continuing to plan the wedding is that with all the postponed and some cancelled weddings vendors need clients in order to survive and we’ve booked with some smaller businesses. It can be hard to know where to start when planning from home but we have been working with some spectacular vendors so that we can continue planning, and they can continue to operate.
Zoom has become very prominent and we’ve used it to meet with potential cake makers, ring designers and hair dressers! This month we have several postal cake tastings to look forward to. It’s not how I expected the wedding planning process to be and it’s hard to imagine a wedding taking place so it can feel wasteful arranging all the meetings and continuing to plan but, we are being optimistic that one way or another, the wedding will go ahead and I plan to make each virtual meeting as special as possible!
Bring on the bubbles at our postal cake tastings!
Adam and I have discussed our wedding in great detail and what variations we may need to make to the wedding in order for it to take place. Though we don’t know what will happen tomorrow or next week let alone 10 months away I am finding it comforting to know there will be a back-up plan.
Thinking about guest lists that reach maximum numbers of guests and how to make everyone happy, how a ceremony will work, what the wedding breakfast looks like and if you just have a small ceremony and a party every week for a month until you’ve celebrated with everyone.
We cannot decide on a definite back up plan as we don’t know what we will happen but we believe it’s important although being optimistic to not cloud over and forget that we might need to make alterations and adaptations to our wedding day. Ultimately, the day is for us, it’s our marriage to each other to celebrate our love and as long as we are able to get married then we succeeded in the main goal but, it’s okay to not be okay with what’s happening.
Our families are incredibly supportive and being a part of Brides Club and Smashing the Glass has shown me that although we haven’t had to postpone that I am not the only one feeling low about wedding planning for a wedding that might not happen or not happen how we’d pictured it. Having a network of likeminded women including Karen to help provide clarity and a supportive family has made the process easier and I can’t wait to marry Adam, no matter what the wedding day looks like!
Click here to read all Charlotte’s planning posts to date
Charlotte & Adam’s Wedding Vendors booked so far:
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