Staring Into the Abyss
I’ve always had a propensity to look too deeply into the darkness of the world. It draws me in, and in a sense I love it. Most of us do.
I recall when I was young seeing a bootleg VHS of Faces of Death with my middle school friends. Back then we didn’t have the internet where you can now click a few buttons and see the most disturbing images possible. Simpler times.
Someone recently sent me an email that I can only describe as a proper psychic attack. When I opened it up there was a large image looking right at me. Definitely the most disturbing thing I’ve ever seen, and to be honest it fucked me up for a few days.
It wasn’t until I had a conversation about it with a friend that the psychic energy of it began to dissipate, but the experience reminded me of my own lust for darkness, which I believe many of us have. It’s really the only thing that can explain to me why people can be so demented and cruel.
I never thought that taking in images of death and destruction were anything to worry about until in 2013 during one of my first journeys with the shamanic plant medicine Iboga.
Iboga is a fascinating experience, and I’ve described it as a lifting of the veil between the conscious and subconscious mind. You get a chance to see into the abyss within your heart and soul and ferret out the crud swimming around in there. And there is a LOT of crud in there.
During that journey I learned that every image, every negative thought, and every psychic impression you’ve ever consumed sits deep within the soul rotting and festering, coloring you darkly in subtle and not so subtle ways.
So many talk about trauma and the need to resolve the traumatic experiences of your past, but I’ve heard few discuss the traumatic effects of consuming decades worth of violence and death, both the theatrical crap we call entertainment and raw footage of real human brutality.
I’m thinking about this today because I received an email this morning from someone who recently took a job at Google reviewing disturbing content to determine what needs to be censored from the search engine. Her work has her routinely looking at the most disturbing stuff imaginable, and she’s having what I see as a spiritual crisis, and is stuck between the need to have a job and income and knowing that the work is disruptive to her well-being.
Jung talked about the shadow side of man, and how important it is to integrate this part of you in a healthy way in order to live a mentally healthy and stable life. We are shadow beings. We are drawn to darkness, because we are in part darkness. When you’ve learned how to appropriately integrate this energy in a healthy way, the deeper into the abyss you are willing to look proportionately expands your ability to see into the light. It’s a double-edged sword that requires intention and discernment to handle.
In other words, shadow exploration can be a path to personal growth and expansion, but when there is no consciousness to how one approaches the darkness in our world and in their life, it pushes the psyche out of balance, and, as I believe, creates conditions ripe for mental illnesses like anxiety, depression and other neuroticisms.
As a self-sabotage coach, I speak in depth about how the contents and programs in the subconscious mind are the source of your self-sabotaging behavior. The subconscious does not know the difference between reality, what’s on the TV screen, or even what you visualize within your own mind. When you’re consuming darkness intentionally or inadvertently, the subconscious sees it all as real, and you’re adding crud to your programs that will effect the way you feel, think and behave.
Nietzsche figured this out a long time ago…
“Beware that, when fighting monsters, you yourself do not become a monster… for when you gaze long into the abyss. The abyss gazes also into you.” –Friedrich W. Nietzsche
Protect your subconscious minds, people. It’s far important to your health, wealth and happiness than you may realize.
About the Author
Dylan Charles is a self-mastery and self-sabotage coach, the editor of Waking Times, and host of the Battered Souls podcast. His personal journey is deeply inspired by shamanic plant medicines and the arts of Kung Fu, Qi Gong and Yoga. After seven years of living in Costa Rica, he now lives in the Blue Ridge Mountains, where he enjoys serving, training, and spending time with family. He has written hundreds of articles, reaching and inspiring millions of people around the world. Follow Dylan on telegram here, and sign up for his weekly newsletter here. On Facebook.
Dylan is available for interviews and podcasts. Contact him at WakingTimes@gmail.com.
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