bereavement and end of life

3 min read 2021-12-21 20:00:32

Winter Dreams of Love and Loss

1994 I dream I’m searching for healthy food in a large cafeteria, but can’t find nutritious food or even green tea and feel confused and lost. I

1 min read 2021-07-06 19:00:15

Elaine and Lauren, 2018 “I’ll stay until the end,” Lauren said. We knew what “the end” meant, but didn’t know when it would come. Doctors

1 min read 2021-05-25 19:00:22

“I love you, David,” I say when my North Carolina son arrives on Thursday night. Because of the pandemic, I haven’t seen him for 8

4 min read 2021-04-27 19:00:53

When our son David and I arrived at the hospital room that morning in 2008, Vic sat upright, his bare legs hanging over the side of the

3 min read 2021-04-13 19:00:43

“I can’t stop,” I said, choking out the words between my tears. “I just can’t…” Erotic attraction had been a big part of our

4 min read 2021-03-16 19:00:48

2006, a few months before Vic got sick “You’ll figure it out,” Vic said, gently pulling me into a long hug. He wasn’t interested in

3 min read 2021-02-02 20:00:33

It’s morning. I walk downstairs and find a note taped on the glass door leading to the back porch. It’s a rectangle of construction

4 min read 2020-08-04 19:00:03

July 12, 1967 Dear Esel, After your bus left, I couldn’t face the apartment, so went to the cycle shop. Maybe mindless people could make

3 min read 2020-05-26 19:00:48

I walk to my husband Vic’s cairn in the forest to honor his life and death. Along the way, I peek in the nesting boxes to see if the

3 min read 2020-05-12 19:00:39

Rushing toward Strong Hospital in 2008, I call the pulmonologist, the oncologist, the cardiologist, and our family doctor. “Should we put

5 min read 2020-03-17 19:00:07

Just before our fortieth wedding anniversary in 2008, I drive my husband Vic to Strong Hospital where he’s being treated for lymphoma.

3 min read 2020-02-04 20:00:53

“Dolphin Play” by Lisa Baechtle In 2010, eighteen months after my husband died, I longed for relief from constant sorrow, so joined

5 min read 2019-09-17 19:00:50

“I’m afraid to die,” Vic said. His raspy voice was soaked with despair. I rubbed his tight shoulders while he leaned into me, his

4 min read 2019-07-23 19:00:57

October 1994 Dearest E, While walking up the stairs tonight I was forcefully struck

3 min read 2019-05-14 19:00:49

Blue Morpho Tom Hilton Flickr “Will you meditate with me?” he asks. I’d said yes for many years. Chemotherapy was ordered hours