When is it too much?

I am back to a more normal retirement journey conversation this week.

My current life quandaries: When does it get to be too much? How do I keep track of all the new people I’m meeting and who likes what?  Do I publish controversial blog posts? When will I feel comfortable enough to begin doing some of the things I love? (In other words – will there be a post-Covid?)

I’ve started on posting some controversial blog posts (and a few more will come), but this week I have looped back into something that is more about living my retirement journey: when is it too much?

I feel a bit like I’m new to retirement and saying “yes” to everything. It was a watch-out given to me when I first retired… don’t over commit too quickly, don’t get busy for the sake of being busy.  At that time, I was trying to figure out what my lifestyle vision even was.  I was trying things on.  Some stuck and some didn’t.  I thought I had learned the balance between being and doing.  Now?  I need to take a step back to figure out what I’m searching for because I’m feeling an imbalance between doing and being.  And of course that means I am doing too much.

I am planning Out & About activities.   And yes, they are (mostly) things I really want to do.  I’ve accepted, even embraced, my “designated planner” role.  And folks who join in are vocal with their being thrilled with me taking the initiative to plan things.  So far this year, I’ve planned a range of things from attending live theater to beach shelling to belly dance class to trying an Escape Room. I even did some thing solo, when it was something I wanted to do but others were not interested.  I’ve got a list of things to plan in February.  My challenge – there are so many things I’d like to do, but how much is too much?

As I search for someone who I can talk about the psychological and spiritual exploration I am doing, I’ve got lots of new people now in my “acquaintance zone.”  [I’m calling that someone a soul-connection conversation partner.] I’m meeting new people all the time via St Pete Ladies Meet-ups – hikes, lunch dates, happy hours. I almost feel like I have too many new connections.  Many, I’m not feeling much commonality with and nothing has hit that soul-connection (which I know takes time, but not even a spark has been lit).  Should I be searching for like-minded people or pushing myself to have a broader diversity of connections?

I do have a few wonderful friends I connect with virtually that meet that need for a soul-connection conversation partner.  Do I just accept that those are the ones?  Why do I feel the need for an IRL connection?

Then there’s question, how many of these new folks in the acquaintance zone do I stay connected with?  Do I try and re-connect after meeting them at an event?  If I’ve reached out to them a couple of times and they never re-engage with me, do I just drop them from my planning-invite list?  As someone who never had a wide range of social acquaintances, I really don’t understand how this works!

Yes, quandaries. How much new connection exploration do I continue to do? Who do I try to stay connected with? How many activities do I join?  How many things do I plan?  Do I even enjoy having a large acquaintance zone?!?  I am working through the answers to these questions to find the right answer for me and find a better balance between being and doing.  

Have you faced any similar quandaries?

picture credit: me – best sunrise this week, a perfectly calm and cool morning

When is it too much?