I Do, Round 2!: This Time it Feels Different
My wedding is ten days away and I officially have wedding anxiety but I’ll share more about that in a different post. Besides stressing over the last few details of my wedding. I’ve also been thinking a lot about how different I feel as a thirty-eight-year-old bride versus being at bride at twenty-two.
I was previously married from 2002 to 2010. It was a quick courthouse ceremony in Miami while I was on leave during the Iraqi war. The plan was to have an extravagant wedding afterward but my then-husband and I decided to put that money towards our first home. Back then I thought I had my entire life figured out. I was intently focused on checking off all the right boxes. You know…marry a great guy, check, buy a nice home, check, finish my degree, check. There was no room for error. I had worked my butt off for what I thought was perfection.
Back then I had zero life experience. I went from my grandma’s house to the Navy as a seventeen-year-old and became a wife at twenty-two years old. In my mind, I figured that any life experiences I missed out on wouldn’t matter. You can’t miss something you never had, right? Wrong, at least in my case it was.
With my second marriage approaching, I wanted to share how important it is to take care of yourself before making a lifelong commitment to another person. Unfortunately, I didn’t have anyone giving me advice, I kinda figured things out along the way. With most of my “aha moments” occurring during my separation and after my divorce.
I can confidently say that I am entering my second marriage with plenty of life experience under my belt. I’m ready for this commitment. I’ve had some good and bad relationships, made a few mistakes, completed lots of goals and had to push myself more than a few times. With my wedding around the corner, this seemed like the perfect time for me to share things that made me ready to start this new chapter in my life:
Financial Independence – After my divorce, I was solely focused on getting my finances together and keeping them that way. Fear of giving up the life I had worked so hard for made me stay in my first marriage longer than I should have. I had zero confidence that I could start over on my own. It didn’t happen overnight but I did it.
Living Alone and Spend Time Getting to Know Me – I was twenty-eight when I moved into my own apartment. There were so many emotions I experienced during those first few weeks. Thinking about it now, this experience taught me a lot about myself. I learned to enjoy my alone time which included reading all the books and long weekends couch surfing binging The Soprano’s for the 100th time and eating Hot Fries.
Doing Stuff Alone – Surprisingly this use to be hard for me. You’d think that the introvert in me would be happy to dine solo or catch a movie by myself. Nope! I always felt like I had to have a companion anytime I went out. I missed out on some much waiting around for other people to hang out with me or attend events. Blogging really was the main reason I started rolling solo and how I taught myself to overcome my social anxiety.
Being a Creative – Starting my blog has been one of the most important things I’ve done post-divorce. I’ve had so many amazing experiences. Not to mention blogging has helped me build my confidence, be a safe place to share parts of my life and make several amazing friends. Hell, I met Bae because of my blog. Every time, I think I ready to give it up I always come back because my blog is my baby! I will always have some sort of creative outlet, it’s necessary.
Are you guys tired of my wedding/marriage posts yet? I hope not because I got a couple more planned! For my married ladies, what life experiences prepared you for marriage and helped you be a great partner?