Reign 2x16: Tasting Revenge

Previously on Reign: Bash was jealous over Kenna spending so much time with Antoine. Antoine made Kenna an offer he thought she couldn’t refuse. Francis forbade Mary from being with Conde, so Mary invited Conde to run off to Scotland with her. Antoine told Conde that Queen Elizabeth is interested an alliance with him.

Wine, potential mistresses everywhere, people making out, and one very important shirt goes flying off. I cannot wait to talk about this.

The Intrigue:

- Catherine trusted Kenna to plan an event where they’ll be drinking wine that was bottled on the day Francis was born. Normally, I’d make fun of the show for finding any reason to party, but wine is always a valid reason. Nobleman have brought their daughters in hopes that Francis will make one of them his mistress. Ew. Privately, Catherine makes it clear to Lola that if Mary and Francis are finished, there’s an opportunity there for some lucky girl, hint-hint. Again, I say, EW.

Typical Kenna. Who even knew Forever 21 had a fur collection?

- Antoine observes Conde making secret plans to meet with Mary and tells him that they’ll be meeting with Elizabeth’s envoy. Conde observes they’ll be lucky if they don’t end up beheaded first.

- Narcisse presents his nubile young niece to Francis. Francis is impressed that Narcisse will stoop to grasp any advantage and asks Narcisse to make it known that he’s not looking for a mistress.

- Kenna tells Antoine that she does not trust him or believe his proposal to marry her when his ailing wife dies. But he tells her that if her only objection is that she’s currently married, it just gives him hope and he’ll stick around longer.

- Francis apologizes to Mary for the type of guests the wine tasting has attracted, but it doesn’t bother her, since she’s hoping to move on with Conde. He admits to being jealous, but is also concerned that an affair with Conde puts their countries in danger. If she were to have a child, it would be assumed to be illegitimate and would be considered an act of treason. He can’t promise to save her head.

Ugh, Francis. Just go drink some wine.

- Bash tries to talk to Kenna about their problems, but she doesn’t see a point, and she has a banquet to plan. But really, she has to run off to meet the married king whose proposed to her. When she asks the valid question: why her? He tells her it’s because SHE HAS NO SHAME. He thinks Bash would grant her an annulment, and claims his wife wants him to find a mother for their children. A mother who has no shame, apparently. They kiss, but she pulls away, apologizing, claiming she can’t.

- Madam Greer instructs her filles de joie on how to not refer to the goods as their “meat and potatoes.” Leith shows up, having just returned from deployment and hearing about her fall from grace. He brings news that Castleroy’s been imprisoned for treason. His wealthy friends had his sentence commuted, so he’ll live, but never leave prison. Leith is worried about her, but Greer says she’s making her way. She thanks him for bringing the news, and abruptly leaves. Oh Greer, don’t be so proud! Now’s your chance to run away with your Pastry Boy!

- Antoine catches Conde on his way out of the castle, but reminds him that they have a meeting with Elizabeth’s envoy. Antoine is anxious to score their new kingdom, which Conde reminds him can’t happen unless Conde becomes a king.

- Francis tries to weasel out of an invitation from Narcisse’s niece, by using Mary as an excuse, but Mary tells him nope, she has plans, and he is very, very free. She claims she’ll be spending the night at an abbey, but Francis knows this is code for: in the arms of your hot stud cousin. He’s tearful at the prospect. As you should be, Francis.

- Mary and Conde meet with Conde’s agent, who is to begin solidifying their plans to journey to Scotland and cut a swath through the countryside. After meeting times, Mary is ready for sexy times. Get it, girl.

- Catherine uses the tasting banquet to pursue Lola as a mistress for Francis. Like he doesn’t already have mama’s boy problems? Run, Lola, run.

- Bash arrives at the banquet, letting Kenna know that it’s time he danced with his wife. He also has pretty apologies and an offer to take her to Paris, despite the fact that he hates it. He says he’ll love it for her.

- Lola asks Francis where Mary is, and he confesses that she is “spending the night at an abbey,” and we all know what that means. Narcisse’s niece interrupts with a private message for the king. Somehow, Francis doesn’t know that is code, too.  Having been drinking and feeling sorry for himself, Francis isn’t too hard to lure into bed. He feels guilty immediately after.

- Mary and Conde don’t go any further than making out. The next morning, they’re having a snowball fight that leads to kissing, when they’re spotted by someone in the woods. If you’re going to be exposed immediately, it’s a shame you didn’t do more than neck like teenagers. Luckily, the spy was in Antoine’s employ. He had Conde followed, after he blew off the meeting with Elizabeth’s envoy. He doesn’t appreciate Conde jeopardizing their family’s future. Antoine threatens to tell Francis, if Conde doesn’t end the affair with Mary. “End it with Mary, or I will end both of you.” 

Worst brother ever.

- Greer’s neighbor friend, Sharlene, is getting caught up on the Greer and Leith backstory and doesn’t understand why Greer isn’t throwing herself at him now. You and me both, girl. But Greer believes marriage is forever. He shows up in the village market to give her some tips on selecting the best apples, but sadly there are no pastries exchanged. As he’s explaining that he wants to be her friend, Greer is distracted by an altercation between some dirty old man and one of her “neighbors”. Greer handles it like a badass, but the man calls her out for being a whoremonger. Leith is appalled and leaves. Oh Pastry Boy, I thought you were better than that. Didn’t you wonder how she was earning a living?

- Conde tells Mary that Antoine will spill the beans about them if they don’t break it off. She sadly agrees that they can’t be together if it risks Conde’s life. Conde claims to not know why Antoine wants them apart, and I’m sure that won’t come back to bite him in the ass or anything.

- Lola gives Francis a hard time about disappearing with Narcisse’s niece. She thinks he just needs to give Mary more time, but he tells her it isn’t time Mary wants, but Conde. Francis said he forbade it, of course, because he doesn’t want Mary getting killed seeking some measure of happiness. Lola believes Francis could protect them with his position, if there were ugly rumors. She thinks Mary still loves Francis, but that this is what she needs to heal and that he should wait it out.

- Antoine’s “ill” wife arrives at court, heavily pregnant. Kenna invited her there, to see the illness for herself. She forces him to admit he never wanted to marry her, just to bed her, and humiliate her husband. She claims that she loves her husband, but Antoine points out that if his wife had been ill, she’d have married him, because her marriage is really ver.

- Mary goes to see pitiful Francis, who tells her that she’s free to be with Conde. Francis cannot bear to see her in pain, and doesn’t want be the cause of any more suffering. He tells her she can remain at court with Conde, with the king’s  protection. Although, if she gets knocked up, all bets are off, of course.

- Greer instructs her ladies on their evening duties when Leith comes crawling back. Greer manages to sound pretty jovial about her new disgrace. He wants her to distance herself from these woman and the trade, but she won’t give up the only thing she has, even for his approval. She goes back to her room to cry, but he just couldn’t leave her.  “I don’t care what you do, I don’t care what they say, I want you.” SA-WOON. And then they FINALLY rip each other’s clothes off. Oh hey, shirtless Pastry Boy, hey. BEST SHIP.

- Antoine lectures Conde about hooking up with a woman who’s turned on her husband after being married for less than a year. Conde gives him the punch to the face he’s been asking for. Antoine promises Conde that there’s no way he’ll make it out of an affair with Mary alive. Then Antoine hightails it away from the castle, saying he left a parting gift for Kenna and Bash.

- Antoine helpfully left evidence for Bash that Kenna had been open to his marriage proposal. She tearfully admits that she was ready to say yes, to be a queen, to have the things that Bash can’t give her. Bash sees no more reason to stay.

- Francis goes to stand over his son’s cradle with Lola. He confides that he took her advice and let Mary go, and that a part of him feels better for it. Francis says he’s ready to move on, and wants it to be with Lola. But Lola sensibly turns him down, because they both love Mary and she’s a Frary shipper at heart.

- Mary summons Conde to her chamber and tells him that Francis has given his permission, provided they’re discreet. So far, they really suck at discretion. She doesn’t think they need to rush off to Scotland right away, but Conde thinks they do. She says she loves him and they need to trust each other. He can trust her, anyway.

- Then Conde meets with Elizabeth’s envoy and tells him to convey his warmest personal regards to that most beautiful, gracious, and wise queen.

History According to Reign:

I wasn’t able to find anything written about the history of celebrating the dauphin with wine bottled on their birth date, but the Valois seem like a boozy family, so I would hardly be surprised.

The poor, sickly, real Francis likely never got the chance to even have a mistress.

Final Thoughts:

“My, how the tables have turned. Now it’s you who’s afraid to be seen with me.”  Madam Greer is my new favorite.

But can we talking about the most important thing? Greer and Pastry Boy! CAN YOU EVEN? P.S. I'm super disappointed in the lack of gifs of this event. Get your priorities in order, internet.

I feel like we’ve seen this fight between Bash and Kenna before, so it doesn’t really feel final, or... terribly interesting?

They have cast an actress to play Queen Elizabeth, so she should be showing up soon. My guess is she’ll be more CW hot than Elizabethan hot.

Next week:

Catherine knows about Mary’s affair. Geez, that didn’t take long. She says there are nobles who would call for Mary’s head. Well then, maybe Cat could give her master class on how to conduct a discreet affair? Elizabeth’s envoy gets captured and tossed in the dungeon. It appears that Hot Cousin Louis is about as adept at deception as he is discretion.

All pastry related flailing can be done in the comments!