As much as we love and know our pets, they still manage to surprise us. However, provided they aren't putting themselves or others in danger, their mischief can be highly entertaining to watch.
Recently, Reddit user vxah posted a question to the platform, asking people "What is the stupidest thing you've seen your pet do?" and their call was answered—animal lovers have shared plenty of experiences!
Whether it's a dog barking at its own farts or a guinea pig celebrating dinner by throwing it around, I'm sure there are rational explanations for (most of) these behaviors, but they won't make these stories any less funny.
#1At 4am I woke up to the sound of my cats ‘I’ve hunted and caught a thing’ noise. It’s a high pitched squeak/meow/trill/music of the happiest of cats.
She was running closer and closer, squeaking all the while, muffled slightly by the fact she obviously had her prize in her mouth as she ran.
I live in a place that rarely gets mice or anything nasty, so as usual, I just assumed it was her toy and she wanted to show it off.
Then she dropped a full bag of bagels on my face.
#2I have a pitbull. One day I hear him growling and barking while outside. This is not normal for him. He usually will only bark 1-2 times when he is ready to come inside, so I was a bit concerned.
I go outside and he is having a standoff with something. He keeps inching closer to something I cant see, then growls/barks and immediately runs away and repeats the process. I call out to him and he comes over and whimpers a bit then returns and continues the routine.
I get closer expecting to see maybe a toad, mouse, something.. anything. There is nothing but grass and a dead leaf. Turns out that he was having a 10 minute standoff with said dead leaf. It was just windy enough for it to rustle a bit, but not move. I proceed to pick up the leaf and he lets out this shriek as if I was in immediate danger. I look at him and crumple up the leaf and he just tilts his head like "oh.." and proceeds to lean on me for pets.
A 50lb pitbull terrified of a leaf. What a dumbass.
Image credits: itsdjc
#3My dog wouldn't come in from the front garden so I rang the doorbell and she ran straight in so she could look out the window to see who was at the door.
Image credits: Appropriate-Spell191
#4I love it when my cats fall off something and get embarrassed then immediately start cleaning themselves with a "yeah, I meant to do that" attitude.
Image credits: Pagan-za
#5She farted and then looked over her shoulder, growled, and barked at her butt.
Image credits: AgentMandarinOrange
#6At 4 pm, my dogs look out the front window to watch for me coming home from work. They still do this despite the fact I’ve been working from home for a year.
Image credits: gamedogmillionaire
#7my dog used to think he was gunna get in trouble for farting, so he'd sneak away. Like a ninja farter. Walking into rooms, farting then leave. Tbh, I think he knew his farts were rancid."
Image credits: anarae
#8My guinea pigs get so excited about fresh veggies that they have to throw it around in celebration first before eating it. The best is whole tomatoes, they brain each other with them and they're so focused on stealing their buddy's tomato that they just keep getting smacked in the head.
Image credits: Zukazuk
#9I have a 85 lb pit bull-mastiff rescue mutt. He is so terrified of my neighbors' little french bulldog that he will flee from her at full speed and drag me along for the ride.
Image credits: Upstairs-Elephant962
#10My dog keeps begging my mom for a piece of fruit, tries it and spits it out because she dislikes it and still wants more.
Image credits: Danslerr
#11my cat bit a glass plate and got angry bc she couldn't eat it then went to bother the fishes and fell into the fish tank
Image credits: Winterbrella
#12Last night when feeding my snake she missed the rat and instead bit herself and then freaked out because something was biting her..
Image credits: bethh02
#13My cat screamed bloodily murder because she thought she was alone but once I walked out she saw me and gave a cute lil meow
Image credits: PowerOverTheSun
#14My greyhound is a retired racer. He's never seen a lot of snow... but he adores it. Until he saw his first snowman. He began to scream (as greyhounds do) as if it was the most terrifying thing in the world.
Image credits: Feralcrumpetart
#15Years ago we had a glass kitchen table top and our dog was laying underneath watching us eat and decided that it was going to jump up and grab some food, only he was blocked by the glass table top. Ouch.
Image credits: dusty-kat
#16My dad was giving his car an oil change. He had the tray of old oil out of the way to deal with later. Our cat took a nap in it.
Image credits: ActualAfternoon2
#17Our pup took a while to really understand how to scratch his face, and would just end up repeatedly kicking himself in the face with his back leg. He's a little better at it now but still occasionally gives himself a bit of a kick rather than scratch.
Image credits: MullGeek
#18My beautiful miniature schnauzer stuck her head in an empty tissue box after pulling out all the tissues, started freaking out then ran into a door.
Image credits: AllusiveSerenity
#19I have a goldfish that gets wayyy to excited for feeding time. More often then not it likes to litterally jump out of its bowl into my hand where im holding the food.....
A true suicidal dumbass but i still love that fish.
Image credits: craftbot9000
#20I had a mouse in my kitchen a few years ago. I've never seen a cat run away from a mouse. Much less run away as fast as he did. He did redeem himself years later. Sherman did some stupid stuff in his days, but that was a head scratcher.
Image credits: Extrasherman
#21My cat fell asleep on the garden fence in the sun and must have forgotten where she was. She always stretches out then rolls when she wakes up
She rolled right off the fence into our pond
She also hates water
Image credits: Settledforthisone
#22We have a cat, Wednesday, but we literally call her Stupid more than anything else.
In the ~year we've had her [we got her at 5mo old] she's:
- Gotten her face stuck in mesh and rather than backing out, pushed forward until her face contorted into Joan Rivers fresh after a bad lift
- Tried to get into multiple boxes that hadn't even been opened yet
- Tried to get into opened boxes in precarious places, then wonders why she's on the floor
- Got mad at me when her tail touched me after she hopped up on the couch where I was sitting
- Got angry and growled repeatedly at the blinds for touching her
- She came inside soaking wet, watched the door close, demanded it be reopen, and when the weather hadn't changed, she screamed at the indignation it was still raining
#23Our Maine Coon cat jumps into the front-loader washing machine when we're ready to do a load.
He likes being in the washer with the clothes he was sleeping on in the laundry basket.
Before starting the machine, we have to be certain he's out of there!
Image credits: Back2Bach
#24My parents were staying with us for the weekend in our upstairs bedroom. The cat was outside the door looking to play and had brought it's toy mouse with them. So my dad tosses the toy a little too hard and it ends up going over the upstairs railing. At which point you would assume the cat would be like, nah, but not our little guy. He jumps straight off of the ~12' cliff after this toy.
The cat full on bounced off the floor and went right back to playing with my dad. Only later when I heard the story did I realize that I had my security cam facing that direction.
The cat was all good after this incident, but it scared the hell out of all of us.
Image credits: Guyver_3
#25My greyhound finally caught up to a squirrel in the park before it went up a tree. She slowed right down, sniffed it and then just watched it run up the tree. She seemed so disillusioned by the experience.
Image credits: HiHoKermit
#26my cat got between the couch and the wall and couldn't turn around, so she had to walk backwards. not that stupid really but it was the only time in my life i saw a cat walk backwards and i think about it a lot lol
#27One of my cats doesn't seem to understand mirrors. Every day he swipes at his own reflection. I have started throwing a blanket over my mirror before I go to sleep so he won't wake me up this way. I recorded it
Image credits: soulstoned
#28Poor Hobo didn't know he was a fat cat. He wanted to run with the skinny cats, who went through the stair banisters, but when he followed he got stuck. Seriously, totally stuck. He was going pretty fast. At first it was funny but he started panicking and I had to pull him out.
Thats when I realized that cats don't know how they look. They don't have mirrors. Poor chunky boi.
#29Walked into a wall. Not ran just slowly walked into it. My cat is dumb. But I love him.
#30My cat is a special little creature. She was having the zoomies one day, sprinting around our hardwood floor. During this, she decided that her ear was itchy so she sat down to scratch it, then decided her foot (the one doing the scratching) was dirty, and had to clean it. The end result was her kicking herself in the face repeatedly with her tongue flapping all over, and since none of this chain of decisions involved stopping, she was sliding across the floor on her ass for the entire event.
#31I have 3 cats. I compare them to the 3 bears in Goldilocks. One drops a deuce in the box and is so offended by the smell he runs out like he's scared of it. Sometimes he still has a hanger that we'll find later. Another will stay in the box and attempt to bury his leavings like he's Captain Flynn burying his Treasure, he'll spend upwards of 2-3 minutes covering it. Finally we have the cat who does it just right. She'll do her business, give it a small spattering of litter over the top and hop out with dignity.
#32One of the cats that my parents has, licks her left paw and cleans her face with her right paw, and vice versa
#33my dog was sniffing around a tree and bumped into a dandelion. he yelped and hopped away.
i never let him forget that time he was scared by a dandelion.
Image credits: buckut
#34my cat meows at the faucet, because she's spoiled and drinks online straight out of the sink, and somehow she thinks meowing at it will turn it on.....
#35Our kitten pissed in his own water bowl
#36One time, I had to give my cat this medicine in his mouth through a syringe. He absolutely hated it and would run away every time he'd see me coming with the medicine. That was until I shook a bag of those Temptations treats. Every. Single. Time when he heard the sound of that bag he'd come running to me. That's when I'd grab him and administer his meds. He'd then quickly run away. Then I'd shake the bag again to administer the second dose, and he'd come running back lol. Happened every time without fail. I have no idea what they put in that stuff to make it so appealing.
#37I have a goldfish that's scared of his own fart bubbles.
#38My cat tried to eat my cactus because I'm told him not to. Cactus won.
#39My dog ran into a chain link fence, he honestly looked like Scooby-Doo would if he ran into a fence, all sideways n tongue hanging out, I laughed way to much, poor wee soul, I almost peed myself.
#40My dog will occasionally hold his poop in while walking for so long that he goes to pee on something with his leg up and starts pooping at the same time.
#41Have a parrot, who is a devout Destroyer of Things™. We built him a bridge so that he could get around his cage, and he stood on it while trying to dislodge the branch he was perched on. Obviously he promptly tumbled down, but he is one optimistic burb who was right back at it lolol
#42Falling down the stairs while trying to catch a fly
#43Walk into a wall then bark at the wall then do it again
#44She pooped, got mad halfway during her poop and then tried to bite her own poop...had to drag her away before she ate it...
#45My two piggies once fought over a piece of veggie neither of them liked, but because one of them had food the other had to steal it, then drop it because it tasted disgusting, then get it stolen, then get mad because his brother had food, steal it AGAIN.... I finally removed the veggie.
#46One of my cats never got the hang of using the litter tray. She would put her head and body in but leave her arse hanging out then would sh*t on the floor. Other times she would just shit on the floor outside of it then go inside it and start scraping the litter to cover up the shit that she had done outside of the tray.
#47My mom caught one of our guinea pigs sitting in the hay feeder and the other two in front of him like they were acting out a sermon. The "preacher" is now dubbed 'King Leo of the Hay Feeder'.
#48My cat tried stepping from the couch to the coffee table (8 inches), but whiffed it with one of her back paws. As she fell, she lashed out with her front paws, sending my bong flying off the table, shattering to pieces, and scaring the hell out of herself.
#49She was licking her butt and fell over. Now this is a 110 pound Rottweiler. Was hilarious.
#50My dog likes to fake paw injuries to get sympathy and treats often to no avail. One time, she faked a paw injury and then went to walk down the stairs towards us and then actually tripped and fell down the stairs and injured her back for a few days...
#51Scared by her own fart
#52Every business day for 4 years, our dog races to the front door at full speed when he hears the mail carrier, barking all the way.
And every day, about 3 feet from the door, he realizes he cannot stop and slams into the door, usually head first.
He must have a case of CTE to rival players in the NFL.
#53I had a horse. I am not sure how he did this, but he destroyed his blankets. I think was curious. I had to rotate them and learn to sew heavy duty sh*t. Dude lived a long life, well into his 30's.
#54We have a chicken with scissor beak. It's a condition that causes it's beak to grow at odd angles and without extra care and attention it'll starve to death. She gets fed in the morning and again in the evening and it's fairly regular so she gets really excited at these times.
Not too long ago my wife is making the food for it's evening meal and the thing is going batshit insane and throwing itself against the front of it's cage. Before I can help it, it manages to get the door open and comes bursting out of the cage in a flurry of feathers and frenzy. My wife, now holding a cup of baby food and some other stuff turns around just in time to catch the chicken with her full face. She flails about as anyone would do when suddenly confronted with an overly excited ball of feathers to the face, and ends up dropping the food, the feeding syringe, and probably a few years of her life, before attempting to catch and restrain the frantic creature. The critter refused to come down and proceeded to ride atop her head the whole time she was preparing a fresh batch of food for it.
#55My squirrel-obsessed terrier tried so hard to catch a squirrel, but never did.
We had a walnut tree in our yard and one day he was sitting underneath it when a squirrel FELL OUT of the tree and landed beside him, stunned. He looked at it, then turned away, and you could tell he was thinking 'huh another walnut fell out of the tree'. Then he did the funniest double-take when his tiny little brain caught up and noticed that it was THE ENEMY. The same moment he realized it was a squirrel sent to him from above, the squirrel recovered from its shock and ran away.
#56My cat ate the kitchen sponge and then felt very sorry for himself until he sicked it up in pieces.
#57Nero- Eating plastic even after pooping out two long pieces of poop, made even longer connected by plastic.
Miyuki- chasing a dragonfly. Dragonfly flies over the pool, cap leaps after it. She had fallen in before, so it's not like this large body of water was news.
Savannah- stalking a turkey vulture. I'm 5'3, these birds are half my height, with a wingspan equal to my height.
Catstiel- plays fetch with hair elastics. It was caught on his nail, so he's tugging at it with his mouth. It escapes his nail and snaps up into his face, so he jumps and then starts looking around for the cat who attacked him.
#58My cat sneezed (and maybe farted) and then fell sideways on the floor
#59My dog will try to go outside when it’s raining but stop when they see rain. They then insist on having me open every other door in the house to see if it’s raining out there too.
Spoiler: it always is raining outside the other doors too.
#60We had just moved in her defense, but my dog got lost when we we’re moving into our new apartment. We live on the 4th floor and our building is connected to the building next door via hallways. In the back there is 2 sets of identical stairs for side A and side B( we live on side A)
The door was open because we were moving and she ran down the stairs, to help us move I suppose, and at some point or another we lost track of her. Dropped everything we are all yelling walking around the inside and outside of the building can find her. I’m on the stairs on the phone with a friend of ours who was helping us look when I looked up and see a dog on the 4th floor on side he frantically scratching the door trying to get in.
My dog, walked downstairs when we weren’t looking and tried to sneak back in the house but got locked out because she was on the wrong side. Caused a massive panic and almost made me and me lady move back out same day we moved in.
Not necessarily dumb but she scared the hell out of us trying to be cute
#61My cat tries to climb on the window ledge, falls off, tries again and falls off a second time. Same cat hates when I pick him up and if I do he runs off, I crouch down and he runs to me and I pick him up again, he always wriggles to get away, sweet cat but zero brains
#62My guinea pig was so excited she ran into a wall. During floor time, in a spacious room that she's been in thousands of times. Luckily she was ok but she was very confused after.
#63Someone had dumped a rather big toy unicorn behind this tree. Dog was sniffing by the tree enthusaistacly, saw the unicorn and literally jump-leaped backwards flipping in the air, ran into a lampost and then went back and sniffed the same tree
#64When our dog was little, he ran into a fairy busy road near our house at night, then just stopped and stared into the headlights
My brother and I scrambled to get him and honestly he was lucky he wasn't killed
#65My cat ran into a wall chasing a tennis ball and tried to hunt a chihuahua
#66Years ago my cat was playing in a bag on the floor. He somehow got stuck, panicked and kept going forward instead of back (which would have freed him). He he tore blindly through the house into the kitchen, then leapt through a window, shattering the glass.
There were jagged long shards of glass still in the frame, and a hole that looked impossibly small for my cat to have fit through. My mom wouldnt let me go out in the yard with her to check on him; she honestly thought he'd be dead, or fatally wounded.
He had just the teeniest scratch on his nose, and was otherwise unscathed. Definitely down a life though after that day, and we no longer let the cats play in bags.
#67Once, my cat made a somersault chasing a hair elastic (he goes specially nuts with them) and ended up falling inside it's food bowl. He looked at me surprised. Love that cat, I miss him now that he lives with my parents.
#68She always ask us to open the garden door for her so she can get out, then asks to enter again, then asks to go out again, then wants to enter...
Also sometimes she is stretching while laying on the staircase and falls.
#69The other night my dog was so happy to see me she came barreling over the coffee table at top speed and smashed her face into my leg. She then spent the next four hours shocked and sneezing, cowering under the dining table.
#70We took my dog to the cabin for the first time ever. She walked right to the end of the dock and stepped off. She'd never seen water before. That was the first and last time she went in to deep water on her own. But she spent the next 15 years pacing back and forth in the shallow water fishing.
#71My cockatiel tried to hide behind a chair leg like that clasic of an elephant behind a post
#72My pet kingsnake, whom I love dearly, has got to be the dumbest animal I've ever owned. When I feed him he'll sometimes miss his prey item and bite himself. If he sees his reflection in the glass of his cage he'll bite it and try to eat it. I have also caught him pooping on his own head twice. There's never a dull moment with this animal!
#73There's so many dumb things my cats do but the girl one is definitely the stupidest. Her most common one is that she sees me come in the door, runs up the stairs and starts meowing outside my bedroom door. I stand at the bottom of the stairs where she can't see my properly and my mom will.open my bedroom door but she won't go in. Instead she just screams until I come up the stairs, then she looks at me like she's so confused that I'm not in my room and sticks her head through the doorway then back at me. Apparently she does it when I go to work too, she walks me off to the door, then when I leave she goes and screams outside my bedroom but doesn't go in when she sees I'm not there.
She's also started becoming a parrot. She's always liked hugs, but sometimes when I pick her up she scrambles to sit on my shoulder or my back and just settles down there. She's very cute but there is definitely nothing going on behind those eyes.
#74It sat in the sink.. so i turned on the water. It didn't react at all, just started purring and enjoying it, drinking from the tap.
#75We have a big German shepherd, one summer night a couple of years back it was humid as hell and thunder was sure to happen.
Doggo was asleep in back garden ( we were having a small bbq just me and the Mrs) doggo was dreaming and letting out the little yips and woofs, plus the legs were doing the ptetend running thing.
Thunder and lightning started miles off over the bay and we were enjoying watching it , suddenly overhead their waa one hell of a crack and flash , doggo in semi sleep semi sh1t scared state charges off down the garden head first into the side of the bouncy castle that we had up for the kids , catapulting herself off at a sideways tangent into the paddling pool wiping out totally as she cartwheeld into the water.
It was at this moment she fully woke up and sat in the pool wondering why she was wet and why her humans were absolutely wetting themselves with laughter .
( she got a burger of the bbq for her troubles in sympathy)
#76Tried jumping over the couch and staying low to the ground at the same time when running away from the vacuum cleaner. She jumped only halfway high enough to clear the couch and bumped into it at full speed.
#77My two dogs were playing and suddenly they both got up and tried to bolt outside. The “not-so-intelligent” one ran straight into the doorframe cause she was to focused on the other dog. We would have been really concerned but she immediately collected herself and kept playing. It was also not the first time she used her head as a battering ram
#78We have a 10 yr. old Black Labrador Retriever. He's a big sweetheart, and surprisingly intelligent.
When we had our hobby farm we lived alongside a river, and Bones (the Lab) loved to run free around our property.
Now I'm not sure why they do this, but Labs seem to love to roll in really bad smelling things they find on the ground. One spring afternoon I let him outside to go and do his business. When he came back 20-30 minutes later he was covered in putrid slime, fish scales and mud.
Apparently, he'd found a badly rotten fish alongside the river bank, and decided to roll ALL OVER in it!!! And this is the funny part. Instead of moping around with his tail between his legs, ashamed of what he'd done, as dogs sometimes do when they get caught doing something they know they shouldn't have done, NO, Bones is strutting around like the king of the jungle, SO PROUD of his accomplishment!
Even after I thoroughly bathed him (with me gagging and dry heaving thru the whole process), stupid dog just wreaked of rotten fish for weeks afterward!!!
#79I've only ever seen it happen once, but I'd always hear it. I have a cat that used to always run to the litter box or his food dish. There's a mat where you have to turn to get to the laundry room where his bowls & litter box are. He'd be going so fast when he got to the mat that he'd slide on it until he hit the pantry door. I'd hear ... at random times. It was really disconcerting when it'd wake me up in the middle of the night.
#80Watched the dog steal a snack from the litter box. I’m investing in a self cleaning one for sure lol
#81I have a corn snake that recently shed, and for some reason he went back into his old skin backwards and freaked the fu*k out because he couldn't get out.
#82Told my dog, 4 5 months old at that time, to stay in his pen when I mop my floor, he climbed out start having zoomies on the wet floor, can't stop as usual, hit the wall. Ends up crying and wants cuddle
#83I’m sitting on the couch with his big yellow toy in my hand dangling in front of his face. “Where’s your toy?” I ask. And he spends the next 5 minutes sniffing all around the room crying because he can’t find his toy. Seriously! I wasn’t even hiding it! I love my dog but for a mini schnauzer he’s pretty dumb.
#84My boy ate a stinkbug. He was so young. Curious little Halloween cat. Never ate a bug again.
#85My dog once jumped onto a small glass table, and shattered the top. He was okay thankfully, but not even 5 minutes later, he jump up again with not table to catch him. He already forgot that he broke it and ended up straddling the table supports. (He was ok)
#86Searching for the laser weeks after I stopped playing with it, and being quite vocal about it too
#87Oh ive got a good one.
My cat, Ollie, is a black and white tuxedo and at the time of this story was about 4 months old (happy birthday geezer hes 14 years today).
He was harness trained and it was nice outside so I took him with me to my apartments leasing office to pay rent. We both saw the bumble bee lazily floating around the grass on the way.
I’m walking he’s following, we say hi to the leasing agents who love him, because KITTEN, but eventually it’s time to go back home.
I open the door and let him through and we start waking the few mins back to my apartment. The leash goes completely taught and I turn around to see why and I see my tiny confused cat, standing there. Staring at me. With a look of prowess that quickly turns to confusion. I’m puzzled. “What’s up buddy, you ok?”
Then he opens and closes his little mouth.
Just enough for me to see the enormous bumble bee inside.
So I’m standing on the sidewalk, holding my cats leash, dumbstruck, because what do I do??? Do I try to fight a kitten for a bee? Do I want to get stung? Do I want him stung in the mouth? What if he swallows it??
So, I default to mom voice. “OLLIE. DROP IT.”
And that stupid little cat just popped his mouth open and let the bee fly away. I swear I could see the cartoon dotted line leaving his mouth as it flew away, plus some cat saliva.
TLDR: lightly used bee.
#88I’ve been sitting here trying to think of something other than a fart story but I got nothing.
There are some funny smart things I’ve seen my pets do. My dog Jake used to sit at the table with us Saturday mornings while we would all have donuts coffee and read the news papers / catalogs. The donuts weren’t far from him and he started growling at the window. They all looked outside to see what he was staring at except me. As soon as they look he takes a donut and hops down and I start laughing. Another time we had the gate to the backyard open during construction, a family friend was over letting the dogs out when I got home from school. He was trying to keep the dogs in the backyard cause we were doing construction. He left the front door open so as soon as he gets all the dogs outside the sliding door Jake comes walking through the front door in the kitchen back into the house. And he’s like how the hell did you get back in here. I was laughing again. I miss that dog, he was a good boy
#89Growls and barks at my grandma. He's a chinchilla.
#90my dog constantly misjudges her ability to jump and is constantly faceplanting into the bottom of the couch or my bed
#91Walking my 70 lb dog, she sees a skateboarder across the street and is fixated on this contraption. She then walks right into a low-hanging construction sign that makes a huge bang and she ran in the opposite direction just about dislocating my shoulder.
#92My cat will be in the middle or corner of a room (props or lift her front legs up), on a ledge or the carpet. She will stand on her hind legs, tilt her head back and rotate it (nearly chin at the sky, looking upside down).
It’s hard to properly describe, but from brief research apparently it helps her hear her surroundings a bit better when she does it, even though she has great hearing. Looks ridiculous, and she “pigeon coos” when she does it sometimes.
#93I have to lock one of my cats in a room or he'll try to drink oil as I'm heating it up to deepfry.
#94My dog deepthroats her leg regularly and nobody knows why. She's done this since we got her.
#95We were shaving our fuzzy dog, and he really hates it. So we would do a bit and then give him a break. Well we had done one side but there was still quite a bit left on his other side when we paused for a bit.
This dummie started running around and lose his balance falling on the side with the hair. Like a bunch of times. It was like that little bit of hair left on that side was, in his fuzzy brain, throwing his balance off. He couldn’t walk in a straight line but kept tipping over. This was not a dog that was mostly hair or anything. There wasn’t this huge weight of fur pulling on him he just convinced himself it was pulling him over.